ep11 - Be Kind to Yourself
Kylie: [00:00:00] Hey there, I'm Kylie Ross, and welcome to Confident With Tech today.
Today, I'm taking a little bit of a different turn on the podcast. I normally go in about tech tools and, promoting different things. But today it's been a big break, again, since the last podcast that I did and part of that is because, just because cuz I had COVID, recovering from COVID, got the flu, son had a chest infection I have a day job and just life. It's just all getting in the way and it just got too much and I couldn't do everything. And you know what, that's a really common thing that we hear from a lot of people and I see people in different groups that I'm in, in business groups and friend groups. There's this huge weight of guilt on, on working moms especially, but also working parents.
We layer all of this guilt [00:01:00] on ourselves and try and do all the things and be all the things to everybody.
And I don't do that anymore. I think, I I definitely used to. I think I changed around about the time that COVID hit and we started all working from home a hundred percent of our time. That has always been my aim to be able to work from home and not travel and as an IT consultant, that was my job. I traveled to clients, I helped them implement financial software. I trained them, listened to business use cases and helped them work out solutions. Now I still do that, but I don't have to go to customers anymore. We've, definitely proven, in this pandemic world, we don't have to do all of that travel anymore to be effective and, to be effective in our positions.
And that's definitely the case with my type of work for sure. Now I still put pressure on myself to get things done. So let's break it down [00:02:00] what I've done to change my mindset, to not stress over the little things anymore and to not worry. Okay. So I have a day job and I am an IT Business Consultant.
Some days are worse than others, as I mentioned, and I just have to accept that and slow down.
So I may plan things out and I have my to do list, but I don't stress over it if I don't get it. Obviously for my day job, I have to get things down and meet my milestones and that's all cool. And, that's all doable. I don't have a really stressful job where it's working more than eight hours.
It, it, fits. So I find now that I can structure on my good days when I know that my mind's not foggy and I'm not too tired. I know I can push myself a little bit further and I can do some extra things in the evening, and sometimes before the day job. So I can get up at six and I can do an hour and a half-ish before I start the day job.
And then I can maybe do anywhere from two to four hours [00:03:00] in the evening. But I don't do that every day. I wanna watch a movie with my kid. I wanna hang out and we always have three hours. Over dinner and meal times, and we watch a movie or a show and, we chat and we catch up and he understands that I am running a business from home as well after hours.
So I just have to just fit it all in, and you just have to re realize in yourself that it's not all possible anymore. And especially if you've got younger children or more than one child and, doing it alone, there's all these different things.
So you just have to find what works for you and just don't stress over it. It is what it is. And I think definitely being in a pandemic world these days has really, honed in on me that life is too short. Stop stressing about the little things and just do what you can do.
And I just, it did take a while for me to get that acceptance, to actually accept that I am not as fast thinking or [00:04:00] as fast energetically as I used to be. It is just what it is and, I'm still coming to terms with that, but I don't beat myself up about it if I don't get something done.
So I've actually had, I. Ooh, going on nearly three months since the last episode of this podcast, which is not good for a weekly podcast. So I have changed a few things up and I will be getting back to the weekly podcasts. I'm also gonna start doing some daily videos and getting back into the tech tips as well.
Now I've structured things in such a way that I have my to-do list, which I like to use as ClickUp. That's my preferred preference for the project management software. Works for me, works really well. And I structure all the things that I need to do. I'm not now stressing over due dates as much as I used to.
So projects and online courses that I'm putting together. Yes, I would love to have that done in a month, but look, [00:05:00] if it's not gonna happen, it's not gonna happen. But the day to day things I need to get done. So I've, bumped my priorities around a little bit, and I'm putting time aside. And instead of the night before doing the podcast, which I used to do way back when I would just make the timer, just do it.
I don't know if I'm gonna be in a good mood if I'm gonna have the energy the night before. So now I'm planning things for a week before. So it gives me quite a few days to find the day when I can do it. And I'm usually keeping the podcast around half an hour. I just find that length of podcast works for me to create. And I'm hoping it works for you guys to listen to as well.
Was creating a podcast. There's all the things you've gotta think about is are you camera ready if you're gonna video it? That always puts me off initially is to, to getting camera ready. Now I'm not stressing quite so much over it, but I do buy the makeup that I like and, all things.
So you gotta make yourself feel good. But creating a, video of a [00:06:00] podcast, there's a whole lot of little steps you've gotta go to, to actually get that live. And there's the editing of the video and the audio there's putting in the intros, the outros. And if you're videoing, you've gotta have the intros and outros that talk about your show.
You've gotta have the image of the thumbnail that's gonna go up on YouTube. You're gonna put it on your blog post on your website, and then it's gonna get shared out to all the different online podcast, iTunes, Google play, et cetera, etcetera, et cetera, Spotify.
There's all the little things and then anytime that you are editing, you tend to have to go through quite a few hoops, depending on how well you want it to be received. There's obviously the editing of intros and outros. And then I also run it through software that I use is script D E S C R I P T.
And I use that to translate my words. So it takes a video and it puts it all into words you go through and [00:07:00] you, have to re-listen to the whole podcast again, edit and change the words that you like. Edit and change the words that you need to be correct and then you can export out a .srt file, which is a subtitles file.
So wherever you load that video up, whether it's YouTube, your blog, whatever you're doing, you can also add the S RT file. So users can click on the CC button and read the captions. So if you've got hearing impaired listeners, they can watch the podcast and watch you speaking and read the words.
I think it's just a nicer experience than having to read a transcript or a full detailed blog post, if they can see someone animated and talking and, then read the words. I just think that would be a much nicer experience. So I take that extra step to do that. But coming back to it, it's I like to organize my days the night before and when I have on my [00:08:00] website, I have Coaching clients.
And so if somebody wants to book some time with me, I never allow it within a 24 hour period. And I find that's the minimum that I'll do is, would be the next day, because then I can plan my day and I really hate to have it all changed around and last minute bookings or emergency calls and help me, can we do this?
I like to have my day planned because as I said earlier, I don't know whether I'm having a good dare or bad day, so I don't wanna push extra stuff in there if I don't need it. So I have my to-do list that says, okay, these are things you need to do this week. And today we are gonna look at the, A, B and C and some days it might just be A, it might just be one thing.
So that way, if I'm having a really good day, I can bring things from the list into that day and get a few things done or I can go look, Hey, I've still got four days to go. I don't have to do anything today. I'm just gonna go and sit [00:09:00] out the back and read a book or have an nap.
And I've just had to accept that that's what it is. And it really is a mindset shift. You really have to think of how you were when you were younger. To how you are now. And it's just not the same. It's not apples and apples. It's apples and bloody grapefruit or watermelon or something. It's just so not the same.
I'm sure a lot of you listening out there have, been through the same thing and trying to study or create a side hustle or, and bring money in and run the family, and you've got pets and you've got partners and you've got family. Extended family, friends and, all the things. All I can recommend to you is just be kind to yourself and accept that just because you said you were gonna do 20 things on Tuesday and you got nothing done, don't worry about it, do it the next day.
But if you, at least, if you get one thing done, That's one thing done and that's a real mind trick. [00:10:00] It really is. Is that when you are really down and you're getting nowhere and you think, okay, nowhere in my business, I can't get this done so long as you can do one thing. that's just the mind switch that goes, I've done it.
I've achieved it because you, waste a lot of brain space by, I've got to do this and I've gotta do that. And you, hold it in your head and you go ahead and get a cup and you go, oh, I've gotta do 50 million things. And you stress yourself out and you just fill yourself up with busy work that you just don't need.
So just do the one thing. Tick it off. I used to think I was an awesome multitasker and it wasn't that I was doing lots of things at the same time, because that's actually physically impossible to focus on multiple things at the same time. But my, brain switched and thought about things very quickly in a space of time.
So I could be thinking ahead and go, okay, I do that. And then I would come back and do this and then I would think, okay, we're gonna do that. So I would have all these things going on in head that I just cannot do now. I have to just do one thing and just be, and just [00:11:00] focus on it, think about it and get it done.
And once you do it, you'll be amazed at how you can go, okay. That is done it is off my list. I don't have to hold space for it anymore. I'll move on. And I find my tech tools are a godsend. They help me with that because I used to be the, write down everything into a diary, but you've gotta actually remember to look at the diary.
Okay. And. You also have to remember to look at a device. How many of you don't look at a device 50 times a day? Seriously? We've got apple watches, we've got iPhones, iPads, we've got laptops. We work ourselves in the digital world, whether it's for entertainment or for working. And we are always looking at things.
So set reminders. It doesn't take much to go, Hey S I R I. We can ask, Hey, whatever, and to set a reminder for half an hour, or remember I've got to order lunch for such and such or. [00:12:00] I've gotta pick up school uniforms or something.
There's always something. So I, use that religiously and I set reminders and I check the night before, whenever I can remember sometimes I have an early night, but I always try and keep everything in my diary. And in the one place, not multiple Google calendars or whatever, I choose one place to do it. So it doesn't matter what calendar system you use or what reminder notes you use. Just try and choose one because otherwise you're gonna get yourself all, tied up in knots, trying to figure out where to put things.
I use the one calendar for all, for my whole world, and that's where I set all my reminders and my notes and everything happening. So try it out for yourself. Let me know how you're going and What do you need?
Do you need to understand more about calendars or tools to create a website or how [00:13:00] to set reminders or managing your life with project management software? There's so many options these days.
You, you just have to find the one that suits you and your mind and your process. There's no one size fits all. There's no one tool that is perfect and you must use it. You just have to find the one that you identify with that you like the look of, cuz if you like the look of it, and you find the navigation easy, you will use it.
If you are trying to fit yourself into something that someone else said, you must do, it's gonna be painful and you just won't do it. You're paying for something that you're not gonna use, honestly. So just find what works for you. Be kind to yourself and just do that one thing. And if it is just that one thing let me know, what don't even tell me what it was. Just say. I did the one thing I've done that for my day. I'm onto the next thing, and that will be awesome.
All right. Have a good day. Thanks for showing up and I'll talk to you in the next [00:14:00] episode. Bye.